I take my drug To turn the fears that consume me Into trophies to hang on a mantelpiece.
The journey of rediscovery is a lightless corridor with tracks
Still fresh from the time before.
The scent still rings in the air, from the bird of paradise
You’re trying to re-acquaint yourself with.
The Fitzgerald of three years ago still feels so close,
But somehow everything found it’s way back to me then.
I wanted a big funeral.
I wanted to be remembered by thousands.
I wanted a full plate of many talents.
I have done well to make that so,
Becoming something with the breadth of an ocean
With the depth of a river creek.
It’s not what I bargained two decades for.
I close the door to the four floors where my tutorial.
From here on in, Imperial Decline used to take place there.
The stone and starry Monday night was riddled with penultimate milestones.
I will evict my inner fascination with the box everyone wants me to step into
From the corners of my utterly beautiful mind.
“But at the end of the day “sexy” is just a four letter word we shouldn’t give a fuck about.”
Please, sweet friends I haven’t met yet,
Allow me to re-introduce myself.
“Please forgive my foolishness.
I’m getting over a bad breakup with my masculine side.”
“Mary hadn’t thought of what feelings looked like, and certainly never thought of how they connected. Even when rambling, the consultant was enthralling to her.”
“Can I get a hell yeah?” I proclaim,
I need a response to know I’m not a shit stain
I get it again, they give me a chant
And I suppose at this point I really can’t faceplant