Two Sides:

Please forgive my foolishness.
I’m getting over a bad breakup with my masculine side.
I’ve been purposefully quiet, to avoid any interruption.
Wouldn’t that make for the kind of rudeness you couldn’t bear starting?
My heart grew taciturn, afraid to stir the slightest agitation.
I cast aside the quirky, excitable goof I previously found unfashionable.
I acted like an inept pacifist.
I scorned the color red, muscle shirts, and speaking personally.
For the first time in memory, I was a wallflower.
I was terrified that any move I made would be taken in the worst way.
Compliments, interactions, jokes- they all seemed so problematic.
Unless I cleared myself out, I seemed problematic.
No more of that though. I’m ready to start lifting and uplifting again.
The bubbly synapses of my mind are reconnecting.
The value in bestowing value to others is crucial more than creepy.
Shades of former scars don’t evoke self-disgust anymore.

I will hope again without expectation.
I will thoughtful express my excitement for life.
I will fill a room with light, after asking permission.
I will learn to stop apologizing unnecessarily.
I will remember the beautiful super-person
That’s slept under my skin for a hundred days.
And I’ll make sure to re-introduce you to them.

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